Alien some more

Okay, so where was I?

John Hurt descends into a room full of alien eggs and one of the eggs cracks open and an alien attacks John Hurt by hugging his face? But he’s wearing a space helmet so everyone is cool with it and no one suspects that MAYBE the alien has, oh I don’t know? Impregnated John Hurt?


At least I guess that’s what happened? It’s been a while since I’ve seen the film. (Oh, and SPOILER ALERT!)

So the away team beams back to the ship and Bishop, the staff physician, starts experimenting on some alien probes, because why not. This is where we find out that the alien’s blood is some sort of sulphuric acid shit that burns through ANYTHING (except alien skin, I guess?) which is kind of a problem on a space ship in space.

Anyway, remember John Hurt? Turns out he’s not feeling too well on account of a friggin’ alien bursting out of his chest! Wow!

At this point the movie goes into the standard horror film/confined space/group of people/monster-mode where the crew, one by one, is either eaten by the alien or killing themselves while trying to blow up the alien.

But there’s a twist! Bishop, about whom we’ve had our suspicions, is revealed to be… an alien! Just kidding. He’s actually just an android. An evil android, programmed to protect the ship at all costs, Asimov be damned!

Also: Ripley (did I even mention her until now? She’s kinda the main character?) has a cat! I think the cat survives the film.

(Did you notice? I’m writing this completely without looking up anything, relying wholly on my fleeting memory. It’s very possible that the whole Bishop’s a robot thing doesn’t happen until the second film.)

Anyway, after a while there’s only Ripley and the alien (and the cat) left, so she decides to take the Wrath of Khan route and kill the alien by self-destroying the ship, using an emergency escape pod to safely sail away to earth or wherever. Yes, she’s taking the cat. But does she also take… the alien?

Yes, of course she does.

Oh no, what now? Will Ripley survive? Will the alien make it to earth and start killing people there? Is there any chance of things getting sucked blown into space? Did I misremember the cat surviving this long? (I’m beginning to think I did.)

Yeses on almost all of these questions.

This is a terrible review. I’m sorry.


5 thoughts on “Alien some more

  1. Da ich die Alien Quadrilogy (!) kürzlich für 16 Tacken auf Blu Ray erstanden habe und beim Lesen des Gedächtnisprotokolls feststellen musste, dass ich dessen Akkuratheit mangels eigener Erinnerung an die Filme nicht verifizieren kann. habe ich mich dazu entschlossen, mir die Filme alsband reinzufahren und noch kompliziertere Sätze zu formulieren. Ich meine die letzte Alien-Session hätte ich mit Herrn Sußmann eingelegt. Das müsste Anno 2002 gewesen sein. Hauptsache auf DVD und Blu Ray im Schrank stehen haben. Wenn mich nicht alles täuscht, fand ich immer Aliens am Besten.

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