Coffee

From Darryl Cunningham's Psychiatric Tales

From Darryl Cunningham’s Psychiatric Tales

I hate coffee.

I didn’t use to to drink coffee. I’ve always been a tea drinker.

But then four years ago I worked in an office for a while. So I started drinking coffee. Not right away, though. For weeks I’d make tea. Even bring my own from home. But then after a while I guess I got lazy and switched to coffee. Which was always right there. Always ready, always hot. Tea makes you wait for it, coffee jumps right at you. Tea is like a cat, coffee is like a dog.

And then once I didn’t work at that office anymore but went back to sitting in front of my computer all day and watching movies all night the one thing I took with me was the habit of drinking coffee. That instant stuff at first and then I even got a coffee maker. And now I drink at least three cups a day, and I hate it.

I hate coffee and I hate myself for drinking it. It’s an addiction alright. Every night when I’m lying there and can’t fall asleep I’m vowing to stop with the coffee already and when I wake up the next morning I’m, like, who needs this shit, I know that I’ll be so much better off without coffee, I won’t have those damn headaches and I won’t be so overstimulated all the time and everything will be better and I’ll take a shower and make breakfast and oh, well, I guess I can drink a cup of coffee in the morning, I mean, that certainly won’t kill me and then I’m sitting here in my room drinking the fucking coffee and I hate it.

I drank half a cup writing these words and I’m not gonna drink the rest of it. I’ve tried to quit coffee many times over the last few years, even making announcements about it on Twitter, but it never worked. So I wrote this, to make it clear (to myself) that I am not happy about this situation, and I truly want it to change.

Egads I know that coffee isn’t the biggest problem in the world and it certainly isn’t the biggest problem in my life. Which makes it all the more frustrating to know that I can’t get it under control.

I’m gonna make some tea. Sorry about all this.

2 thoughts on “Coffee

    • Even if that’s true: every iteration of me knows that coffee is doing me a lot more harm than good. It shouldn’t be so hard to quit, regardless of “priorities.”

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